So I was at the gym today
This reminded me of my first semester of Grade 11, in which two of your typical teenaged trendwhores were commenting on how they shared a wardrobe with their mother. Not their sister. Heck, not even their BROTHER. Their mom.
And it's not like their mom was rocking some classy Calvin Klein pantsuits, because if I saw someone at my school in one of those, I'd appreciate their guts. I wouldn't be sitting here, tearing them to shreds and making them go cry in their rooms, while listening to the whiny antics of Secondhand Serenade. No.
They were remarking on how their mother shopped at Artizia, and how her mom was always buying the same clothing as her.
............................Like, are you serious? I figure that being your typical teenager, you're going to throw away thousands of dollars on brand name things just to fit in. However, once you hit the age of (hopefully) twenty-five, at LEAST, you're a little more intelligent.
Well, apparently not.
The fact that, out in this big wide world, there are women over 40 sporting a TNA hoodie and TNA pants is rather disturbing.
There is a word for this, folks. It's COUGAR.
PS: When did pinstripe onesies become cool? Or for that matter, sold?
Let's be honest. You can only pull off the cougar look if you're Courtney Cox and have your own television show. Other than that, it's unnecessary to showcase your droopy, post-baby flabtastic, age spotted body in tight spandex outfits or "trendy" clothes that also fit your seventeen-year-old daughter.
Like I mentioned in my first-ever post, the key to looking good is dressing appropriately for your body type. This means that if you're the size of a Hummer, don't be sashaying into Aritzia in hopes of coming across an XXXXXXXL tank top. It seems like the fatter you are, the tighter your outfit is. This is insanity. Who ever thought that by wearing a size small when really, a size XXL would be far more appropriate, would somehow up their sex appeal, should be banished to a Pennington's for life.
**I'd also like to take this moment to add; anything that claims "One Size Fits All" should be avoided at all costs.**
And don't try to tell me that I'm encouraging ageism. Aka discriminating against people because of their age. Shit, if you look like Megan Fox and you're over forty, please, I'm begging you, come to my gym so I can watch you run laps in some TNA pants.
..That sounded creepier than intended.
It's just that, most 40-year-olds don't look like Megan Fox. They just look like 40-year-olds who are unable to accept that they're 40. I'm proud to say my mother dresses for her age. And although I might make endless sarcastic comments while she browses in Laura Petites aka Elves R Us, I'm relieved that she isn't trying to be thirty years younger. Even if their shirt patterns are trying to bring the 70's back.
This doesn't excuse men, either. If I saw a 40-year-old guy with pants to his knees and his swag turned on (questionably) I would well, I'd probably ask K-Fed for his autograph.
When it comes to appropriate dress in high school, however, I think the rules should be much more lax. We're young and we can pull off this shiz. Unless you're 400 lbs. Skip the short shorts. Frankly, I know my principals are just angry because one walked like a peg leg pirate, and the other one looks like a Barbie that spent a little too much time in the tanning bed. And the unbuttoned shirt doesn't help.
That's about it, guys. Remember: dress to fit your body type.
And spread awareness about cougar disease.
Peace.
"I know my principals are just angry because one walked like a peg leg pirate"
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