So here we go!
In the past few months, life's been
Basically, you hear people say often, "If I only knew what I know now..." and it truly, and sincerely drives me NUTS! Like, hello. Don't say that shit to me, dude. It makes me want to squeeze every experience and bit of knowledge they've gained (supposedly) that would make them better off. Of course, people are willing to share a few things, but never their whole life story. Understandably. That might take..a while.
However, I find it to be discouraging. I want to live my life as BEST as I can, and make the best desicions I can, and take the absolute most ideal path. NOW! I don't wanna look back in 10 years and be like "gee, I fucked those years up big time! Har har!"
I know, I know...that's not how life works. You deal with the hand you're dealt at the time, and you do the best you can. Blah-de-fuckin'-blah. That's what any sensible, grounded, self-aware chick would tell you.
But I'll tell you, straight up, it's JUST like me to be stressing about doing everything right the first time. After my last blog, you'd think I was all cool and laidback. But really, I'm more than slightly
What can I say? Not to blame it on astrology, but I've been reading up on Scorpios, and we're freakin' intense. Just to save me some brainpower, read below the exerpt I stole from a different website (http://www.astrology-online.com/scorpio.htm)
Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac. Even when they appear self-controlled and calm there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment. In conventional social gatherings they are pleasant to be with, thoughtful in conversation, dignified, and reserved, yet affable and courteous; they sometimes possess penetrating eyes which make their shyer companions feel naked and defenseless before them.
They need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil. Their tenacity and willpower are immense, their depth of character and passionate conviction overwhelming, yet they are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that they make lifelong enemies by their outspokenness, for they find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom they take a dislike.
You're proooobbbbably like, aw fuck, this girl's gonna make me read ALL this? I mean, yeah, I am. You don't have to, but it basically describes me in a nutshell. A very large nutshell. A mutant walnut shell.
I'm getting off topic, but the point is, I am trying way too hard to avoid making mistakes. The irony is, for someone who doesn't wanna make mistakes, I've made a fucking trillion too many to have a clean slate. This is entirely upsetting to me when I focus on it with the microscope that is my crazy brain.
BUT-once I take a step back, I've got about eighty years to do something good. And really? I may be self-critical but even I know, that's enough time to do something right.
So, I challenge you to learn from your mistakes and not see them as black marks on the record of your life story. 'Cause I'm gonna do the same.
Until next time,
J
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