When I say
Tim Burton.
What comes to your mind? I think of a dishevelled has-been who's in desperate need of a new hairstyle and a retirement plan.
Scribbles of emo stick figures in love should be reserved for people under 14. Or rather, they should be reserved for Myspace layouts of "sC3n3 quEEns xx *".
Do you know what I mean, folks? Is anyone else simply sick to death of this guy's unoriginal films?
Nightmare Before Christmas was fine. It was fine until it was whored out by Claire's and Hot Topic and every other fucking store on the planet.
Every other movie can be described in one sentence: Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp and any other greasy, slimy, creepy, 'alternative' people he could round up and give a goth makeover.
There's a difference between having a distinct style and beating an idea 'till it's fucking dead. Look at director Wes Anderson. He, along with tons of other directors, have a certain style and quirks that set them apart from others. However, it doesn't have much to do with the plot or idea. Who wants to make a variation of the SAME movie five hundred times?
You guessed it.
Tim Burton.
I especially take offense to his remakes (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland) because they were once well-written books and equally well-done movies that needed no remastering or new special effects. I'm sad to say I wasted $10 on Alice in Wonderland, because I'm a huge fan of the book and the original Disney cartoon. To this day, that is my biggest regret, contributing to the huge, douchey sell out of a person that is Tim Burton.
In fact, I can tell by the small groups forming on Facebook (to which I belong) many people agree with me. In one group, a person stated: "Screw Tim Burton and that whole emo, mallgoth, "I think halloween and christmas should be made into one holiday," I'm dark and brooding because I shop at hot topic crap."
Basically, it's safe to say, Burton, that there are better ways to deal with your immense man crush on Johnny Depp.
By the way, I'm going to finish this post by whoring myself to you by proposing you visit my other website/social networking schuff.
I will be offended if you don't click on the following links:
Follow me on Twitter or be lost, bitches.
Follow me on Twitter or be lost.Fo
Ciao.
21.4.10
Welcome to Cougarville! Population: Your mom.
Hey readers!
So I was at the gym todayfor the first time in centuries and I overhead a conversation between two people (who are probably approaching retirement) revolving around Lululemon.
This reminded me of my first semester of Grade 11, in which two of your typical teenaged trendwhores were commenting on how they shared a wardrobe with their mother. Not their sister. Heck, not even their BROTHER. Their mom.
And it's not like their mom was rocking some classy Calvin Klein pantsuits, because if I saw someone at my school in one of those, I'd appreciate their guts. I wouldn't be sitting here, tearing them to shreds and making them go cry in their rooms, while listening to the whiny antics of Secondhand Serenade. No.
They were remarking on how their mother shopped at Artizia, and how her mom was always buying the same clothing as her.
............................Like, are you serious? I figure that being your typical teenager, you're going to throw away thousands of dollars on brand name things just to fit in. However, once you hit the age of (hopefully) twenty-five, at LEAST, you're a little more intelligent.
Well, apparently not.
The fact that, out in this big wide world, there are women over 40 sporting a TNA hoodie and TNA pants is rather disturbing.
Let's be honest. You can only pull off the cougar look if you're Courtney Cox and have your own television show. Other than that, it's unnecessary to showcase your droopy, post-baby flabtastic, age spotted body in tight spandex outfits or "trendy" clothes that also fit your seventeen-year-old daughter.
Like I mentioned in my first-ever post, the key to looking good is dressing appropriately for your body type. This means that if you're the size of a Hummer, don't be sashaying into Aritzia in hopes of coming across an XXXXXXXL tank top. It seems like the fatter you are, the tighter your outfit is. This is insanity. Who ever thought that by wearing a size small when really, a size XXL would be far more appropriate, would somehow up their sex appeal, should be banished to a Pennington's for life.
**I'd also like to take this moment to add; anything that claims "One Size Fits All" should be avoided at all costs.**
And don't try to tell me that I'm encouraging ageism. Aka discriminating against people because of their age. Shit, if you look like Megan Fox and you're over forty, please, I'm begging you, come to my gym so I can watch you run laps in some TNA pants.
..That sounded creepier than intended.
It's just that, most 40-year-olds don't look like Megan Fox. They just look like 40-year-olds who are unable to accept that they're 40. I'm proud to say my mother dresses for her age. And although I might make endless sarcastic comments while she browses in Laura Petites aka Elves R Us, I'm relieved that she isn't trying to be thirty years younger. Even if their shirt patterns are trying to bring the 70's back.
This doesn't excuse men, either. If I saw a 40-year-old guy with pants to his knees and his swag turned on (questionably) I would well, I'd probably ask K-Fed for his autograph.
When it comes to appropriate dress in high school, however, I think the rules should be much more lax. We're young and we can pull off this shiz. Unless you're 400 lbs. Skip the short shorts. Frankly, I know my principals are just angry because one walked like a peg leg pirate, and the other one looks like a Barbie that spent a little too much time in the tanning bed. And the unbuttoned shirt doesn't help.
That's about it, guys. Remember: dress to fit your body type.
And spread awareness about cougar disease.
Peace.
So I was at the gym today
This reminded me of my first semester of Grade 11, in which two of your typical teenaged trendwhores were commenting on how they shared a wardrobe with their mother. Not their sister. Heck, not even their BROTHER. Their mom.
And it's not like their mom was rocking some classy Calvin Klein pantsuits, because if I saw someone at my school in one of those, I'd appreciate their guts. I wouldn't be sitting here, tearing them to shreds and making them go cry in their rooms, while listening to the whiny antics of Secondhand Serenade. No.
They were remarking on how their mother shopped at Artizia, and how her mom was always buying the same clothing as her.
............................Like, are you serious? I figure that being your typical teenager, you're going to throw away thousands of dollars on brand name things just to fit in. However, once you hit the age of (hopefully) twenty-five, at LEAST, you're a little more intelligent.
Well, apparently not.
The fact that, out in this big wide world, there are women over 40 sporting a TNA hoodie and TNA pants is rather disturbing.
There is a word for this, folks. It's COUGAR.
PS: When did pinstripe onesies become cool? Or for that matter, sold?
Let's be honest. You can only pull off the cougar look if you're Courtney Cox and have your own television show. Other than that, it's unnecessary to showcase your droopy, post-baby flabtastic, age spotted body in tight spandex outfits or "trendy" clothes that also fit your seventeen-year-old daughter.
Like I mentioned in my first-ever post, the key to looking good is dressing appropriately for your body type. This means that if you're the size of a Hummer, don't be sashaying into Aritzia in hopes of coming across an XXXXXXXL tank top. It seems like the fatter you are, the tighter your outfit is. This is insanity. Who ever thought that by wearing a size small when really, a size XXL would be far more appropriate, would somehow up their sex appeal, should be banished to a Pennington's for life.
**I'd also like to take this moment to add; anything that claims "One Size Fits All" should be avoided at all costs.**
And don't try to tell me that I'm encouraging ageism. Aka discriminating against people because of their age. Shit, if you look like Megan Fox and you're over forty, please, I'm begging you, come to my gym so I can watch you run laps in some TNA pants.
..That sounded creepier than intended.
It's just that, most 40-year-olds don't look like Megan Fox. They just look like 40-year-olds who are unable to accept that they're 40. I'm proud to say my mother dresses for her age. And although I might make endless sarcastic comments while she browses in Laura Petites aka Elves R Us, I'm relieved that she isn't trying to be thirty years younger. Even if their shirt patterns are trying to bring the 70's back.
This doesn't excuse men, either. If I saw a 40-year-old guy with pants to his knees and his swag turned on (questionably) I would well, I'd probably ask K-Fed for his autograph.
When it comes to appropriate dress in high school, however, I think the rules should be much more lax. We're young and we can pull off this shiz. Unless you're 400 lbs. Skip the short shorts. Frankly, I know my principals are just angry because one walked like a peg leg pirate, and the other one looks like a Barbie that spent a little too much time in the tanning bed. And the unbuttoned shirt doesn't help.
That's about it, guys. Remember: dress to fit your body type.
And spread awareness about cougar disease.
Peace.
19.4.10
I probably should have planned this better.
Hey readers, who I've been accumulating, I'm excited to report. But not to worry, my ego isn't big or anything. Bow down, minions!
I've decided to address an issue that has become exceedingly worrisome only recently.
I won't beat around the bush.
I'll get right to it.
So here's the thing: My mom is in love with a gay man.
There. I said it. It's out in the open. Damn, that elephant in the room was getting fucking gigantic.
Over the past few months, it's become obvious my mom is fully in luuurve with none other than Clinton Kelly, the fashionista from TLC's What Not To Wear. Every time he's helping a new,overweight mullet adorned middle aged loser beautiful woman, my mom just gushes about how cute he is.
To tell you the truth, which I always do anyways, so that was a pointless thing to say, anyways where was I, fuck I lost my train of thought let me start over.
I don't think it's completely fair to automatically assume he's gay (makes an ASS out of U and ME) so we all must consider the following pieces of evidence:
He's on a TV show called What Not To Wear.
Telling women what to wear.
And calling their boobs "The Girls".
He also wrote a book called "Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally be Better than Everyone Else."
He-
Oh.
Oh shit.
I don't need any more proof because as I was browsing Wikipedia for witty facts to provide you, I came across this little gem: He is openly gay.
So my gaydar was correct. Although if my clues didn't help you, you're just an idiot. And/or braindead. In which case, HOW ARE YOU READING THIS? Well, it doesn't really matter to me as long as you're reading this.
Ladies and gents, I've just come across yet another dealbreaker. Yes. It gets MORE scandalous (I know, you're asking yourself, more scandalous? I can't handle it!)
As my grandmother once said, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Actually, my grandmother never said that exclusively.
Also, don't get out, keep reading.
HE'S MARRIED.
Yes, married.
My mother is in love with a married gay man.
I guess the moral of this tragic one-sided love story is, well, clearly, don't fall for married gay men unless you're a gay man and you're already having an affair and he's leaving his spouse or you're on an episode of Passions.
If you don't fall under those category(s?), then all I have to say is...you know how all those "motivational speakers" tell you that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE and how the SKY is the limit? Blah, blah blah?
Well, they lied.
Everything is not possible.
I've told my mother a hundred times that Clinton is frankly, a little too gay and a little too cute for her.
Okay, minus the cute part. Gawd, who do you think I am? Spencer Pratt? No, I don't have a monstrous vein sticking out of my forehead or a Playboy-esque wife with no brains and fake blond hair.
Although you can sign me up for the latter, if you'd so like.
TO. THE. POINT.
Stop chasing after gay married men, people.
It's just not gonna happen.
Unless you're Mario Lopez, who looks like Ken and could probably corrupt the best of us.
PS: Still don't believe me? Watch this.
I've decided to address an issue that has become exceedingly worrisome only recently.
I won't beat around the bush.
I'll get right to it.
So here's the thing: My mom is in love with a gay man.
There. I said it. It's out in the open. Damn, that elephant in the room was getting fucking gigantic.
Over the past few months, it's become obvious my mom is fully in luuurve with none other than Clinton Kelly, the fashionista from TLC's What Not To Wear. Every time he's helping a new,
To tell you the truth, which I always do anyways, so that was a pointless thing to say, anyways where was I, fuck I lost my train of thought let me start over.
I don't think it's completely fair to automatically assume he's gay (makes an ASS out of U and ME) so we all must consider the following pieces of evidence:
He's on a TV show called What Not To Wear.
Telling women what to wear.
And calling their boobs "The Girls".
He also wrote a book called "Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally be Better than Everyone Else."
He-
Oh.
Oh shit.
I don't need any more proof because as I was browsing Wikipedia for witty facts to provide you, I came across this little gem: He is openly gay.
So my gaydar was correct. Although if my clues didn't help you, you're just an idiot. And/or braindead. In which case, HOW ARE YOU READING THIS? Well, it doesn't really matter to me as long as you're reading this.
Ladies and gents, I've just come across yet another dealbreaker. Yes. It gets MORE scandalous (I know, you're asking yourself, more scandalous? I can't handle it!)
As my grandmother once said, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Actually, my grandmother never said that exclusively.
Also, don't get out, keep reading.
HE'S MARRIED.
Yes, married.
My mother is in love with a married gay man.
I guess the moral of this tragic one-sided love story is, well, clearly, don't fall for married gay men unless you're a gay man and you're already having an affair and he's leaving his spouse or you're on an episode of Passions.
If you don't fall under those category(s?), then all I have to say is...you know how all those "motivational speakers" tell you that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE and how the SKY is the limit? Blah, blah blah?
Well, they lied.
Everything is not possible.
I've told my mother a hundred times that Clinton is frankly, a little too gay and a little too cute for her.
Okay, minus the cute part. Gawd, who do you think I am? Spencer Pratt? No, I don't have a monstrous vein sticking out of my forehead or a Playboy-esque wife with no brains and fake blond hair.
Although you can sign me up for the latter, if you'd so like.
TO. THE. POINT.
Stop chasing after gay married men, people.
It's just not gonna happen.
Unless you're Mario Lopez, who looks like Ken and could probably corrupt the best of us.
PS: Still don't believe me? Watch this.
18.4.10
The Juno Awards....crushing teeny bopper's hopes since 1964.
Alright guys.
So, I felt obliged to comment on the...interesting...nature of the 2010 Juno Awards. I just turned off my TV from the live show in Newfoundland, and honestly, I've never been so relieved.
To be fair, I'm Canadian. So I can freely insult Can Con without being a biased American. I am fully Canadian (eh) and take full responsibility for theshitty amazing music that comes out of this country.
Let's review the overall results:
Firstly, something that took me by surprised-Michael Buble or Bublbewjkefth (as the random french guy so eloquently put it)raped stole all the Junos bribed the middle aged women in the audience took home 3 awards tonight. Including: Pop album of the year, Fan's choice, Single. His producer also received an award for "Havent met you yet".
Secondly, I have to bring this up. K'naan. The man can write a decent song, I'll give him that. However, his vocal chords should be locked up for committing a crime-breaking the eardrums of all Canadian viewers. He receieved anundeserved award "Artist of the year". I can't say I'd prefer Nickelback to be the winners (thank gawd their goat-like faces/voices were absent from the awards) however I'd gladly support Jbaby (aka Justin Bieber) if he had been given it. I'm too lazy to find the definition, but I'm pretty sure being an artist means you...well what DOES it mean? That you're artsy? You can play a few notes on the piano and wave your arms around? Cough, K'naan, COUGH. Oh, sorry, I'm just recovering from a bout of swine flu.
I think the people who selected this guy for artist of the year, were either:
a)being held hostage by a gang of murderers (and the Junos would be bombed if they didn't choose him)
b) deaf
c) FUCKING INSANE
d) all of the above
I'm gonna have to go with d) all of the above.
Honestly, I bet K'naan rigged this entire thing. That whole Bryan Adams schtick about helping the less fortunate? Shady. As my wise friend Paige once said "He does have a devious, snaggly-toothed grin."
How completely true! And also, anyone who wears a fedora can't be trusted. Seriously. Words to live by.
All right, enough about snaggle-toothed whatshisface. On to the important awards-like Justin Bieber.Oh, wait, he didn't WIN any awards. I bet the people who decided this are now in a mass grave. I can just see it on CNN now: Juno Committee beaten to death by vicious teeny boppers. Weapon of choice? Rolled up Tiger Beat magazines and plastic cases that once cradled the ever-so-innocent My World 2.0 album.
Har har. Don't think he deserved at least one precious Juno? Think about it: Come Juno Awards 2011, Jbaby will be back in Stratford, obese from too many diva visits to Macdonalds, homeless. Because he hit puberty.
Let's face it, One Time just isn't the same when it's sung with a voice comparable to Louis Armstrong.
We can only hope he will stay BFFLs with Drizzy aka Drake aka Aubrey aka Dude off of Degrassi, so he can keep being relevant to my life as a teenaged girl. And if NOTHING else prevails, we'll still have an endless supply of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.
**Note: When he was performing a rather moving and soulful rendition of "Baby" sans Ludacris, avec Drake, my Granny said, "Who's that boy? He looks about 12."**
But if you're not a Negative Nancy or a Pissy Polly or a Sarcastic Sally (like yours truly) and you wanted somerainbows and bunnies more positive aspects of the Juno Awards tonight, here you go:
1) Simple Plan didn't perform
2) Neither did Nickelback
3) Neither did Stereos
4) Bryan Adams wasn't able to perform due to volcano ash
5) Emily Haines exists
You get the picture.
I mean, we all could've survived without Blue Rodeo,some fucking irrelevant group they talked about for hours A group my mom said was around in the 70's (hello, no need to go all Middle Ages on us), and that shady guy in a cowboy hat, but hey. It's Canada. 'Nuff said.
Until next time,
J
So, I felt obliged to comment on the...interesting...nature of the 2010 Juno Awards. I just turned off my TV from the live show in Newfoundland, and honestly, I've never been so relieved.
To be fair, I'm Canadian. So I can freely insult Can Con without being a biased American. I am fully Canadian (eh) and take full responsibility for the
Let's review the overall results:
Firstly, something that took me by surprised-Michael Buble or Bublbewjkefth (as the random french guy so eloquently put it)
Secondly, I have to bring this up. K'naan. The man can write a decent song, I'll give him that. However, his vocal chords should be locked up for committing a crime-breaking the eardrums of all Canadian viewers. He receieved an
I think the people who selected this guy for artist of the year, were either:
a)being held hostage by a gang of murderers (and the Junos would be bombed if they didn't choose him)
b) deaf
c) FUCKING INSANE
d) all of the above
I'm gonna have to go with d) all of the above.
Honestly, I bet K'naan rigged this entire thing. That whole Bryan Adams schtick about helping the less fortunate? Shady. As my wise friend Paige once said "He does have a devious, snaggly-toothed grin."
How completely true! And also, anyone who wears a fedora can't be trusted. Seriously. Words to live by.
All right, enough about snaggle-toothed whatshisface. On to the important awards-like Justin Bieber.Oh, wait, he didn't WIN any awards. I bet the people who decided this are now in a mass grave. I can just see it on CNN now: Juno Committee beaten to death by vicious teeny boppers. Weapon of choice? Rolled up Tiger Beat magazines and plastic cases that once cradled the ever-so-innocent My World 2.0 album.
Har har. Don't think he deserved at least one precious Juno? Think about it: Come Juno Awards 2011, Jbaby will be back in Stratford, obese from too many diva visits to Macdonalds, homeless. Because he hit puberty.
Let's face it, One Time just isn't the same when it's sung with a voice comparable to Louis Armstrong.
We can only hope he will stay BFFLs with Drizzy aka Drake aka Aubrey aka Dude off of Degrassi, so he can keep being relevant to my life as a teenaged girl. And if NOTHING else prevails, we'll still have an endless supply of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.
**Note: When he was performing a rather moving and soulful rendition of "Baby" sans Ludacris, avec Drake, my Granny said, "Who's that boy? He looks about 12."**
But if you're not a Negative Nancy or a Pissy Polly or a Sarcastic Sally (like yours truly) and you wanted some
1) Simple Plan didn't perform
2) Neither did Nickelback
3) Neither did Stereos
4) Bryan Adams wasn't able to perform due to volcano ash
5) Emily Haines exists
You get the picture.
I mean, we all could've survived without Blue Rodeo,
Until next time,
J
17.4.10
YOU! I wanna take you to a gay bar!
Well hello there; it's been a few days. I assure you, I've got an excuse: work.
Not like, a job, work, although if you have any ideas of who's hiring, you could hook me up. But that's beside the point-I've been working away at school. I'm more than half done my anthropology course which is excellent.
Regardless, on to today's topic. I was writing up an assignment dealing with prejudice and discrimination. In fact, I was writing about the ever so prejudiced "Prop 8". Haven't heard of it?You're living in a box.
Basically-it's a clause that was added to the California consitution Nov. 2008 stating same-sex couples aren't allowed to marry.
Aka, completely and totally bogus.
Clearly, this is discrimination, right? Not just because I'm gay, but because I'm a person who knows the meaning of equal rights, I can tell this is total discrimination. It's caused devastation to the GLBTQ community, and prevented thousands of loving couples from a fundamental civil right-marriage.
Upon further research, I discovered the Prop 8 website. They provide a wide array of excuses for their homophobia, from the perspectives of "scholarly" to "political" to "religious" people. I investigated these points of view, and will recap them below.
a) Religious: God’s plan only included a man and a woman to get married. (Based on what the bible tells us....)
b) Political: Registered “domestic partners” receive the same treatment as married couples.
c) Scholarly: Same-sex couples spread AIDs and HIV. Homosexual partners are more violent, and more likely to divorce. They aren’t capable of parenting as well as heterosexual couples. Homosexuals are more likely to experience mental illness, substance abuse, suicide, and shortened life spans. Children raised by same-sex couples are likely to cross-dress, be gender disordered, and suffer emotionally. Etc, etc. The bullshit was more in-depth but I cut it down to save you from rolling your eyes right out of your head (if you aren't already.)
Hmmm.
So, by reviewing the above, we see that religious people are concerned with staying true to their "faith" and to the bible. It's funny to me how much religion can blind people and cause them to generate even more hate, though I'm SURE at some point the bible emphasizes loving your neighbour or something. By creating this monster called Prop 8, aren't they doing the complete opposite? Yes, yes they are. But because they're omniscient (sarcasm) pastor is brainwashing them into thinking homosexuality makes someone a second-class citizen, they're HATING their neighbour. They're fucking spitting on their neighbour, and stomping on their toe, and throwing red paint on their fur coat. (Except, and I don't mean to stereotype, but most lesbians I know are vegetarian and/or animal lovers.) Geez, religious folk are worse than PETA. (Don't get me wrong, PETA's the shit. They're just a little psycho at times. Meh, at least it's for a good cause.)
The point is, a lot of religious people who oppose gay marriage due to the bible are technically about as sane as the folks over at westboro baptist church. And if you haven't come across them, here's a link. Crazy religious people like you've never seen before. If you have, you KNOW that's saying something.
On to the so-called politicians view, which is vague and also completely false. By not having the ability to marry, same-sex couples are denied MANY things, including: the right to visit a spouse in a hospital and make medical decisions; employer sick and bereavement leave; inheritance rights; the right to give unlimited gifts to a spouse without gift tax; disability, pension, and Social Security benefits; the right to bring a wrongful death case; the right to refuse to testify against a spouse; or the right to prevent the deportation of a foreign-born partner by marriage, among others.
Honestly, if it were reversed, I'm sure heterosexual people wouldn't be satisfied with the title of "domestic partnership."
It's pretty insane that any man and woman can get loaded and tie the knot in Vegas, or some creepy dude in prison can get hitched to a mail-order bridewhich is extremely sketchy yet two loving people who happen to be the same sex, can't get married. Although some states have allowed it, and so does Canada eh, this isn't enough. Everyone in the world should have equal rights. Sadly, you'd think, in 2010 we would've achieved that. But no, no. The fucking bible, which holds hardly any historical or factual value, is supposedly a valid roadblock.
Ludicrous.
And I don't mean the rapper.
Thirdly, the "scholarly" person's view. First of all, what the fuck IS a scholar? Someone who's attended school? I don't care to know, because it will probably make me angry that well educated people still can have such close minded opinions. They argue that same-sex couples can't raise children well, and that their children will ultimately be cross-dressing, promiscuous, suicidal deviants. Oh, right, because that makes so much sense.
WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE FINDING THEIR FACTS? Honestly. It's almost amusing the stuff they'll come up with to disguise their obvious homophobia. I think most sane people can realize it doesn't matter if it's a man and a woman or two women or two men raising a child. If there's love and happiness and safety, does it really make a difference? 'Cause I've seen many an episode of Intervention. Out of ALL of the episodes I've seen, only one addict has been gay. Sexual orientation does not predict whether you'll be an alcoholic, or a psychopath or a bad parent. (Although I'm sure most of you know this already.) And BTW, saying that we spread HIV and AIDs is the most boring, general stigma you could attach. You clearly need to re-think that scholar title you've so generously given yourself. I bet you're one of the idiots that still say "that's so gay", at age 40.
Overall, guys, it's safe to say I'mfucking infuriated a little frustrated by Prop 8. How can some lawyers and angry religious people take away my rights to love? Sure, I'm fortunate enough to live in Canada where I will be able to marry a wonderful girl, but what about the thousands in California? I'm a part of the GLBTQ community, therefore, their rights are my rights. They deserve them, too.
It comes down to this: Whether you sleep with girls, guys, both, or neither, you're a human being. You're constitutionally owed equal rights. I DEMAND MY FUCKING EQUAL RIGHTS, Y'HEAR?!
If this doesn't repeal in the next few months, I will be flying to California and going Chris Crocker on their asses.
In my opinion, these people need to get laid. Or hit over the head with a bible. Either/or.
Some links to further your knowledge:
NOH8 Campaign for Equal Rights
NOH8 on Twitter
Click this to help repeal Prop 8
Prop 8 (Prepare to roll your eyes out of your head.)
Not like, a job, work, although if you have any ideas of who's hiring, you could hook me up. But that's beside the point-I've been working away at school. I'm more than half done my anthropology course which is excellent.
Regardless, on to today's topic. I was writing up an assignment dealing with prejudice and discrimination. In fact, I was writing about the ever so prejudiced "Prop 8". Haven't heard of it?
Basically-it's a clause that was added to the California consitution Nov. 2008 stating same-sex couples aren't allowed to marry.
Aka, completely and totally bogus.
Clearly, this is discrimination, right? Not just because I'm gay, but because I'm a person who knows the meaning of equal rights, I can tell this is total discrimination. It's caused devastation to the GLBTQ community, and prevented thousands of loving couples from a fundamental civil right-marriage.
Upon further research, I discovered the Prop 8 website. They provide a wide array of excuses for their homophobia, from the perspectives of "scholarly" to "political" to "religious" people. I investigated these points of view, and will recap them below.
a) Religious: God’s plan only included a man and a woman to get married. (Based on what the bible tells us....)
b) Political: Registered “domestic partners” receive the same treatment as married couples.
c) Scholarly: Same-sex couples spread AIDs and HIV. Homosexual partners are more violent, and more likely to divorce. They aren’t capable of parenting as well as heterosexual couples. Homosexuals are more likely to experience mental illness, substance abuse, suicide, and shortened life spans. Children raised by same-sex couples are likely to cross-dress, be gender disordered, and suffer emotionally. Etc, etc. The bullshit was more in-depth but I cut it down to save you from rolling your eyes right out of your head (if you aren't already.)
Hmmm.
So, by reviewing the above, we see that religious people are concerned with staying true to their "faith" and to the bible. It's funny to me how much religion can blind people and cause them to generate even more hate, though I'm SURE at some point the bible emphasizes loving your neighbour or something. By creating this monster called Prop 8, aren't they doing the complete opposite? Yes, yes they are. But because they're omniscient (sarcasm) pastor is brainwashing them into thinking homosexuality makes someone a second-class citizen, they're HATING their neighbour. They're fucking spitting on their neighbour, and stomping on their toe, and throwing red paint on their fur coat. (Except, and I don't mean to stereotype, but most lesbians I know are vegetarian and/or animal lovers.) Geez, religious folk are worse than PETA. (Don't get me wrong, PETA's the shit. They're just a little psycho at times. Meh, at least it's for a good cause.)
The point is, a lot of religious people who oppose gay marriage due to the bible are technically about as sane as the folks over at westboro baptist church. And if you haven't come across them, here's a link. Crazy religious people like you've never seen before. If you have, you KNOW that's saying something.
On to the so-called politicians view, which is vague and also completely false. By not having the ability to marry, same-sex couples are denied MANY things, including: the right to visit a spouse in a hospital and make medical decisions; employer sick and bereavement leave; inheritance rights; the right to give unlimited gifts to a spouse without gift tax; disability, pension, and Social Security benefits; the right to bring a wrongful death case; the right to refuse to testify against a spouse; or the right to prevent the deportation of a foreign-born partner by marriage, among others.
Honestly, if it were reversed, I'm sure heterosexual people wouldn't be satisfied with the title of "domestic partnership."
It's pretty insane that any man and woman can get loaded and tie the knot in Vegas, or some creepy dude in prison can get hitched to a mail-order bride
Ludicrous.
And I don't mean the rapper.
Thirdly, the "scholarly" person's view. First of all, what the fuck IS a scholar? Someone who's attended school? I don't care to know, because it will probably make me angry that well educated people still can have such close minded opinions. They argue that same-sex couples can't raise children well, and that their children will ultimately be cross-dressing, promiscuous, suicidal deviants. Oh, right, because that makes so much sense.
WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE FINDING THEIR FACTS? Honestly. It's almost amusing the stuff they'll come up with to disguise their obvious homophobia. I think most sane people can realize it doesn't matter if it's a man and a woman or two women or two men raising a child. If there's love and happiness and safety, does it really make a difference? 'Cause I've seen many an episode of Intervention. Out of ALL of the episodes I've seen, only one addict has been gay. Sexual orientation does not predict whether you'll be an alcoholic, or a psychopath or a bad parent. (Although I'm sure most of you know this already.) And BTW, saying that we spread HIV and AIDs is the most boring, general stigma you could attach. You clearly need to re-think that scholar title you've so generously given yourself. I bet you're one of the idiots that still say "that's so gay", at age 40.
Overall, guys, it's safe to say I'm
It comes down to this: Whether you sleep with girls, guys, both, or neither, you're a human being. You're constitutionally owed equal rights. I DEMAND MY FUCKING EQUAL RIGHTS, Y'HEAR?!
If this doesn't repeal in the next few months, I will be flying to California and going Chris Crocker on their asses.
In my opinion, these people need to get laid. Or hit over the head with a bible. Either/or.
Some links to further your knowledge:
NOH8 Campaign for Equal Rights
NOH8 on Twitter
Click this to help repeal Prop 8
Prop 8 (Prepare to roll your eyes out of your head.)
9.4.10
943 ways to look pretty for free (the cost of this magazine)
Hi, so.
A few things.
I've been subscribed to Seventeen magazine for maybe two years now, and I'm beginning to wonder...why.
Open a typical issue of Seventeen and you'll find the following (I promise):
a) About 100 ads for CoverGirl
b) The ugly chicks from America's Next Top Model
c) Ways to look preppy chic, boho glam, edgy goth, or flirty fun
d) An article warning a breakthrough report which upon further inspection contains absolutely nothing of substance
e) Tips on how to get guys
I got a new issue today in the mail, which happened to include all of the above. The "celeb" gracing this cover was Shailene Woodley (Don't know who that fuck that is? Trust me, you're better off) who stars in the "hit show" Secret Life of the American Teenager. Otherwise known as Terrible acting plus Molly Ringwald being Fat and Untalented. The show revolves around Shailene as she copes with being a teen mom. Gee, how original.
Anywho, Seventeen was clearly more desperate than usual this month. On the cover under her name, it says "She's not the girl you think she is." This got me wondering, what do people think of her? Do they think she's actually pregnant? If so, they'refucking stupid gullible. The only other thing I can imagine people are thinking is, Who the fuck is this girl? I read the supposedly revealing interview inside, and was just riveted by her intelligence.
Seriously? She's about as smart as a box of rocks.
The rest of the magazine was predictable and cheesy, as per usual. It included the usual quotes from teens that are supposedly just like us, however, nobody I know would ever say, "I love that these sky-high open-toed heels are feminine but edgy too!" Without sarcasm/laughter/mocking gestures. Seriously.
They managed to squeeze in some of thefugly ANTM competitors (small photos, thank you very much) which I anticipated.
Lastly, the seriously SCANDALOUS article that was a "17 Special Report". Like ooo000ooh. Watch out! A special report! The scandal was titled "Could Hollywood trick you into getting pregnant?"
I tell you, if I was standing up I would have fallen over. Out of all of the ridiculous things I've read in my life, this is by far the most ridiculous with a capital R. Someone at Seventeen should be getting fired right about now.
Whoever watched Juno and decided that being pregnant would instantly make them super indie and cool, deserves to endure a screaming baby all night every night. Because they are off their rocker. 100% delusional.
If you're gonna blame Hollywood for your pregnancy, then I'm going to have to slap you in the face. Because, oh, I don't know, there's this thing called birth control, and it's so you can control giving birth.
DUH.
I conclude with the realization that our generation is stark raving mad.
Peace,
J
A few things.
I've been subscribed to Seventeen magazine for maybe two years now, and I'm beginning to wonder...why.
Open a typical issue of Seventeen and you'll find the following (I promise):
a) About 100 ads for CoverGirl
b) The ugly chicks from America's Next Top Model
c) Ways to look preppy chic, boho glam, edgy goth, or flirty fun
d) An article warning a breakthrough report which upon further inspection contains absolutely nothing of substance
e) Tips on how to get guys
I got a new issue today in the mail, which happened to include all of the above. The "celeb" gracing this cover was Shailene Woodley (Don't know who that fuck that is? Trust me, you're better off) who stars in the "hit show" Secret Life of the American Teenager. Otherwise known as Terrible acting plus Molly Ringwald being Fat and Untalented. The show revolves around Shailene as she copes with being a teen mom. Gee, how original.
Anywho, Seventeen was clearly more desperate than usual this month. On the cover under her name, it says "She's not the girl you think she is." This got me wondering, what do people think of her? Do they think she's actually pregnant? If so, they're
Seriously? She's about as smart as a box of rocks.
The rest of the magazine was predictable and cheesy, as per usual. It included the usual quotes from teens that are supposedly just like us, however, nobody I know would ever say, "I love that these sky-high open-toed heels are feminine but edgy too!" Without sarcasm/laughter/mocking gestures. Seriously.
They managed to squeeze in some of the
Lastly, the seriously SCANDALOUS article that was a "17 Special Report". Like ooo000ooh. Watch out! A special report! The scandal was titled "Could Hollywood trick you into getting pregnant?"
I tell you, if I was standing up I would have fallen over. Out of all of the ridiculous things I've read in my life, this is by far the most ridiculous with a capital R. Someone at Seventeen should be getting fired right about now.
Whoever watched Juno and decided that being pregnant would instantly make them super indie and cool, deserves to endure a screaming baby all night every night. Because they are off their rocker. 100% delusional.
If you're gonna blame Hollywood for your pregnancy, then I'm going to have to slap you in the face. Because, oh, I don't know, there's this thing called birth control, and it's so you can control giving birth.
DUH.
I conclude with the realization that our generation is stark raving mad.
Peace,
J
Sorry Taylor, but today was not a fairytale. Take your banjo elsewhere. (I beg you)
Why hello, it's Friday.
If you didn't know that, you either live in Australia or under a rock. But yeah, TGIF and all that jazzy jazz...
To be honest, (Gurrrrl*, you know I always am) I've had better days. And by better days I mean I've been happier eating dog food. Let me elaborate. But only for a short while, because nobody wants to hear complaining. People just want to complain and want YOU to shut the fuck up and listen until they're done. And then they'll walk away, and you'll be left with negative vibes. Nuh uh. Not fun, I know.
*When I type, I tend to talk in my head. And when I'm typing I've lately been adopting a Tyler Oakley way of speaking, such as adding "gurrrrl" to random sentences. Don't know who Tyler Oakley is? Wow, you're an idiot. But here's his youtube so you can redeem yourself: http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley
Moving on, about my bad day. It's not that my day was horribly horrible, it just brought out the gawky, graceless, unskilled, awkward side in me. Like, I'm talking, cringe-worthy instances.
I was assigned the task to walk my dog up to the groomer (a good 25 minute walk when your dog's fucking 90 and pees on every available pole), and because I'm a good girlhahahahah I did so. In the snow (Canada sucks).
When I arrived, I couldn't open the gate. I stood there for a good 3 mins until she came outside and told me the simple trick: Pull the yellow string. Ah, yes. How did you know I am fluently telepathic? That was my first instinct.
Putting up a sign wouldn't hurt.
Regardless, I dropped him off and turned around to leave. It took me another 4 or 5 mins to figure out how to open the gate. AGAIN. After fiddling with every doodad and gizmo in front of me, I simply pushed the gate. And it opened.
Well, okay, that was my bad.
Ahem.
I had to wait for an hour and a half, and didn't want to walk all the way home, so I headed to the nearest "diner" for coffee. When I entered, I was already feeling awkward from the gate episode. To make it evenbetter worse, two waitresses just stood and stared at me say something you dimwitted fools and so I was forced to stutter out some awkward intro, that went something like this, "Hi, I'm going to be here for a while. I was wondering if I could get a muffin and coffee?"
My God*, I'm cringing just repeating this. However. There are so many awkward, problematic things going on in that sentence I won't even bother to begin. (I'm pretty sure they don't give a damn how long I'll be there.)
*That doesn't exist.
In my defense, how the fuck was I supposed to know what to do? Once again, there was no sign directing me.
Luckily, I only paid them $3. Which is about three dollars more than I felt comfortable handing these idiots.
Anyways, you're thinking, this has got to be the end of her awkward moments today? Not quite. I went back to the groomers (successfully opening the gate) and retrieved my dog. When I was thanking her, my gum flew out of my mouth. Onto the carpet. In her house.
Aye.
I stumbled to pick it up, while wearing mittens, which it of course stuck to. I'm still trying to get the gum out. Then, I got the hell out of there with my rat of a dog.
Ladies and gentleman, and so I digress:
The moral of the story: PUT UP A FUCKING SIGN. IS THAT SO HARD? NOT ALL OF US ARE TELEPATHICALLY INCLINED LIKE YOU.
That's all,
Jaina
If you didn't know that, you either live in Australia or under a rock. But yeah, TGIF and all that jazzy jazz...
To be honest, (Gurrrrl*, you know I always am) I've had better days. And by better days I mean I've been happier eating dog food. Let me elaborate. But only for a short while, because nobody wants to hear complaining. People just want to complain and want YOU to shut the fuck up and listen until they're done. And then they'll walk away, and you'll be left with negative vibes. Nuh uh. Not fun, I know.
*When I type, I tend to talk in my head. And when I'm typing I've lately been adopting a Tyler Oakley way of speaking, such as adding "gurrrrl" to random sentences. Don't know who Tyler Oakley is? Wow, you're an idiot. But here's his youtube so you can redeem yourself: http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley
Moving on, about my bad day. It's not that my day was horribly horrible, it just brought out the gawky, graceless, unskilled, awkward side in me. Like, I'm talking, cringe-worthy instances.
I was assigned the task to walk my dog up to the groomer (a good 25 minute walk when your dog's fucking 90 and pees on every available pole), and because I'm a good girl
When I arrived, I couldn't open the gate. I stood there for a good 3 mins until she came outside and told me the simple trick: Pull the yellow string. Ah, yes. How did you know I am fluently telepathic? That was my first instinct.
Putting up a sign wouldn't hurt.
Regardless, I dropped him off and turned around to leave. It took me another 4 or 5 mins to figure out how to open the gate. AGAIN. After fiddling with every doodad and gizmo in front of me, I simply pushed the gate. And it opened.
Well, okay, that was my bad.
Ahem.
I had to wait for an hour and a half, and didn't want to walk all the way home, so I headed to the nearest "diner" for coffee. When I entered, I was already feeling awkward from the gate episode. To make it even
My God*, I'm cringing just repeating this. However. There are so many awkward, problematic things going on in that sentence I won't even bother to begin. (I'm pretty sure they don't give a damn how long I'll be there.)
*That doesn't exist.
In my defense, how the fuck was I supposed to know what to do? Once again, there was no sign directing me.
Luckily, I only paid them $3. Which is about three dollars more than I felt comfortable handing these idiots.
Anyways, you're thinking, this has got to be the end of her awkward moments today? Not quite. I went back to the groomers (successfully opening the gate) and retrieved my dog. When I was thanking her, my gum flew out of my mouth. Onto the carpet. In her house.
Aye.
I stumbled to pick it up, while wearing mittens, which it of course stuck to. I'm still trying to get the gum out. Then, I got the hell out of there with my rat of a dog.
Ladies and gentleman, and so I digress:
The moral of the story: PUT UP A FUCKING SIGN. IS THAT SO HARD? NOT ALL OF US ARE TELEPATHICALLY INCLINED LIKE YOU.
That's all,
Jaina
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