EARTHQUAAAAKKKKEE!!!!!!!!!!

Well, we couldn't have asked for a better opening to Summer 2010, could we? If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the random quake that hit Ontario and Quebec this afternoon.
I'm not here to obsess about it, because honestly . So the ground shook for about thirty seconds. Life went on. A picture possibly fell off your wall. Is that a problem? Pick it the fuck up.
On TV they were showing all this footage of people evacuating their buildings with expressions of pure panic. It's like, really? I know it's G20 and all, but I think this is just proof how uptight everyone is these days. Especially if you live on the 70th floor of some office building, are you really gonna run like a chicken with it's head cut off down 70 floors? By the 65th floor they must have realized that the shaking stopped, and surprise surprise they were still alive. But no they had to run down to floor level which ended up turning into a nice smoke break and pleasant, intelligent conversation with a news crew.
For example (if you didn't have the unfortunate pleasure of seeing one of these riveting interviews on TV):

Your Average Naive Canadian: I was sittin' in my desk chair, and all of a sudden the chair was moving. But...I wasn't moving.
Reporter: Oh wow!

Are you  fucking KIDDING me? Is our country really that boring that we need to put shit like this on TV? I don't think I could dream up a more pointless conversation if I tried. And trust me when I say I go to school with people who have the IQ of a small igneous rock.
Another thing I found humorous but also incredibly depressing was the amount of Facebook statuses proclaming the same thing: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE LIKE MY HOUSE SHOOK AND THIS IS  CRAZY AND THE WORLD IS ENDING.
If you haven't been informed yet, earthquakes occur when the tectonic plates (which basically make up the surface of planet earth) shift. Big whoop. They have them frequently in other countries, it doesn't mean there's going to be swarms of locusts and a giant flood and the bible is going to come to life. Or something. If it did, I'd totally part the red sea. (I have no idea what I'm even talking about).
On the topic of extremely overrated events, let's talk briefly about the MMVA's while I'm here and committing to a blog post. To sum them up quite easily, Justin Bieber has officially gone through a voice change, Miley Cyrus likes to wear hardly any clothing at all, and there is so much horrid Can con in this country that I had to mute half of the red carpet show.
Seriously, if you're game to see Stereos play an acoustic performance then you might as well go fall off a cliff. I'm sorry, but you are an idiot.
The mute button was my best friend for that entire thing.
One last thought-how is Russell Brand married to Katy Perry? She deserves better.
Also known as me.
Just throwing that out there.